King Ferdinand V - The Fierce *  

    Questions & Answers   

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Turkeys  KFV       Chapter 1 

 

Q. Can we see King Ferdinand V  in Person ? ... in Real Life ? 

A1.Probably not.  Make that "highly unlikely" or, even "No".  His exact location is a VERY                        carefully guarded secret – as has been the location of ALL Royal Turkey Kings for the                past 2,563 years (or so).   Our artist was given access to have KFV sit for this painting                and was sworn to secrecy, forever.

A2  Please, you may refer to Him as KFV - He prefers to be informal.

Q.  How do we know that this painting is of KFV, himself, and not of some pretender? 

A.  You don’t.  You must take our word for it.  Our artist has attested that KFV is the Real King                  and that He posed for the painting.   Done in one “sitting”.

Q.  Are there other 8 foot tall Turkeys ?

A.   Some.  Many are around 7'6", or so.  A few are 8'.  A long line of  Royal Turkeys.

A2  Also, Well, Kind of .... If you count "Big Bird", too.  Big Bird is 8 feet 2 inches tall.  The                        entire concept of Big Bird on TV was "hatched" (so to speak) from the Royal Turkeys.                Let me explain ... While Big Bird is supposedly a Yellow Canary, he (his costume) is                    comprised of 4,000 Turkey feathers dyed Yellow.  ALSO, Big Bird  is 8'2" tall - the                        same as an average  Royal Turkey.                                                                                                  "Is this a coincidence ? I think not". Quote from Paul Newman. OK, You get the idea ?

Q.  We mean, how many  8 foot tall Turkeys are there ?

A.  Actually, lots of ancestors and descendants.  The Royal “Lady” Turkeys are almost 7 feet                  tall.  Still intimidating.  And there are several “Tribes” and "Clans" of Royal Turkeys                    in various locations.  All in the North East.  We don't have an actual count of Tribes                      and Individuals, but there are many of the Royal Turkeys and "Forest Folk"

Q.  Is KFV the actual size of the painting ? 

A1.  Yes, the painting was done “life size”.  KFV was much taller than our artist. This is a                        painting, not a photograph.  Of course, Turkeys can stretch their necks to look even                    taller – as in our painting. 

A2. This painting is a professional "head shot", not an entire body painting.

Q.  If we saw KFV, would we know that it was Him ? … The "King" ? 

A.  Yes.  You can tell by the Crown on His head.

Q.  Is KFV benevolent ? 

A.  Very.

Q.  Does KFV like music ?  Does He listen to music.

A1. Thank You for a very kind question.  YES, The King does enjoy mostly peaceful music.                        Acoustic guitars, in particular.   Turkeys also enjoy Fiddles and "Barn Dances" and,                    yes, even "Turkey in the Straw".  KFV enjoys Turkeys having a good time and even                      He can do Sides and Squares and do-si-do - Promenade and Strutting comes easy                      for Turkeys and they enjoy watching real people pretend that they are dancing "like                    Turkeys".  He just has to be with other Royal Turkeys, so size is comparable.

A2.    KFV recalls a time many years ago when a bunch of "hippies" invaded his beloved                           Catskill Mountain foothills, and upset the serene peace and quiet with raucous                             sounds and even some very unnatural behavior.  He and thousands of his  "Forest                       Folk" friends watched from the nearby tree line - I mean, 4 days, and what a mess                       they left behind.  The local Raccoons had to call in Trolls as reinfcements to help                         clean it up.  Terrible what they did to our local, peaceful, world.  However, a few years                 later, Mother Nature made sure that there was no trace of them.  All is "green" again.        YES - There REALLY is a "Mother Nature".  She has been known to hang-out and even travel                     with KFV and, also, She assumes many disguises to protect Her REAL identity.                            You guessed it - Her Official Royal Color is Green although that color can change                         seasonally.  Her story appears elsewhere, but KFV is in regular contact with Her.

Q1  Would that "invasion" have been in 1969 ? 

A.  The King does not keep a calendar - his assistants keep schedules for KFV, and all of the                     Forest Folk just flow with the change of seasons and with the Full Moon.  The                               October Full Moon is the Official "Turkey Moon".

Q.  Does The Moon influence Turkeys ?

A.  YES, most definitely.  The Moon guides almost ALL life and behavior on Earth.  Another                       story for another time - when you mortals are ready (if ever).  

Q.  Does THAT mean that there really IS a "Man in the Moon" ?

A.  Please, stick to our Topic. The short answer is, YES, of course - Save it for another time.

 

Turkeys  KFV       Chapter 2 

 

Q.  Does KFV and his friends know about REAL Folk Music ?

A.  Yes - and they enjoy that.  Fiddles and guitars, in particular.  We answered that previously.                 Please pay attention.  (See Q #8 above)

Q.  How should we address Him ?

A. “Your Serene Kingness”“Your Serene Turkeyness” and “Your Magnificence" are all                             acceptable as is “Your Serene Tallness”, although the latter is usually used only                         among his Royal Turkey Court and very close  friends … with a sense of  humor.  Of                   course, you would have to say that in Turkeyese.

Q.  Why is "KFV" always written in Purple ?

A.  The King is partial to Purple.  Apparently, it has something to do with Easter -  He was born               on an Easter Sunday. 

Q.  Does He always smile ?

A.  What does THAT mean ?

Q.  Are Wild Turkeys the same as Turkey Vultures ?

A.  NO. Turkey Vultures are quite aloof (look it up), Turkey Vultures fly and soar a lot ... and                     they eat carrion (look that up, too).  And TVs resemble Wild Turkeys, somewhat, from a               distance.  Different proportions, though.  And Turkey Vultures don't "strut" and they                   have shorter legs - think Neanderthal of Turkeys.   Turkey Vultures are NOT good                         dancers.   AND, they don't Smile.                   (See Q #14 above)

Q.  Does KFV have any (many) friends ?

A.  Lots.  Most of the "Forest Folk" and "Forest Creatures" have great respect for KFV, and                   they meet often with gatherings of hundreds of creatures – singing, dancing, telling                     stories, comparing memories, and harmonizing.  Very private.  You would have to find                 them first, have access to the location via GPS coordinates – and be able to get                           through security.   Not likely, though, the Forest has too many eyes -  Invitation ONLY.

Q.  Does KFV have any enemies ? 

A.  Unknown.  We can tell you that He is the Most Revered Potentate in the entire Animal                         World.  His Rule is 100% benevolent.

Q2  Has KFV ever met Rip Van Winkle ? 

A.  Of course not.  KFV is alive today.  Ole’ Rip was a REAL person who lived in the late 1700s.               However, local lore tells that KFV’s ancestors and Rip met on many occasions and that               they shared stories OVER A CAMPFIRE.  Good question, though. It shows that you                     know your geography. 

     Howie the Beagle  recently visited the same mountain area and did not encounter KFV.

Q.  Has KFV ever seen or met “Bigfoot” ?

A.  Unknown ?  However, it has been suggested that KFV  IS  “Bigfoot”.

Q.  Is Bigfoot the same as "Sasquatch".

A.  Sasquatch ?  They are located out West, in the Rocky Mountains and the Cascades.  they                do visit East occasionally - birthdays, holidays.  they travel in RV Motorhomes with a                  preference for Motorcoach Bus conversions - Prevost, in particular. 

          Bigfoot is strictly from the Northeast USA -  

Q. How about "Rodan" ?  Could Rodan BE  KFV or one of the Royal Turkeys ?

A.  Sure is something to think about ?  Take shelter immediately if you see anything that big                    flying overhead.                           Think about it !

Q.  How does KFV travel ?

A.  He has his own Royal Sprinter Van.  KFV insists on the Mercedes Version, Highly modified               with a small Royal Throne and seating for several more passengers, 1- way windows,                 TV – DVD – Internet Access - Bluetooth – Phone Dome – GPS – Satellite                                        Communications - all of the latest electronic goodies.  Of course, He moves quite                        rapidly, both walking and flying.  But the Sprinter is used for longer distances.   It                        does have EZ Pass.  For security reasons  – there are several identical Sprinter Vans –                all operated by "Forest People".          They ALSO have a fleet of BIG  RVs. 

Q.  Why does He insist on a Mercedes Royal Sprinter Van ?

A.  He likes the Mercedes emblem.  It resembles a Turkey footprint.  Think about it !

Q.  Does KFV ever drive the Sprinter ?

A.  Is that a serious question ?  Is a Bear Religious ?

 

Turkeys  KFV       Chapter 3 

 

Q.  Is The King afraid of "drones" ?

A.  Not at all.  KFV owns lots of drones and he enjoys flying them - and chasing seagulls                         and "buzzing" squirrels.  He also uses many drones for "security".

Q.  Where does King Ferdinand Live ?

A.  His Home ?  He lives in the forest – with fields nearby, and moves around, often.

Q.  Yes, but in what area ?

A.  Well, generally, in “upstate” New York State.  In the early 20th Century most ALL Turkeys                    retreated to the Adirondack Mountains where they could live peacefully and re-grow                    their Wild Turkey flocks from a low of 30,000 or so in 1880, up to the current estimate                  of 7 Million wild Turkeys – give-or-take.   Of course, there are tens of millions of                          “domestic turkeys” which are raised and processed for human and animal food – they                  live to the ripe old age of 6 months – give-or-take – and weigh around 40 pounds, a l                   lot more than male (tom) “wild” turkeys 20 pounds – females (hens) weigh around                       10 pounds .  Wild Turkeys fly very well – and fast.  One can’t fly if one is plump  (fat).

Q.  You mean that Turkeys actually FLY ?

A.   Wild Turkeys FLY very well.  In Fact, Turkeys are one of the LARGEST flying Birds in the                   entire world - at speeds up to 55 miles per hour.  Short Distances, but they fly several                 times every day.  

Q3  Where does He REALLY Live ?

A.  You mean sleep ?   Well, most Turkeys sleep in large trees perched on a large limb, the                      higher the better. to be safe from potential preditors.  Also Turkeys don't see very well                in the dark, so they "fly-up" before sunset, sleep in the trees - and chat with one                           another late into the night, then fly down to  the ground around Sunrise  KFV actually                 lives in a series of really big Tree Houses, around the North East - very well                                   camouflaged and virtually invisible from  the ground.  There is even a TV show about                 Tree Houses - based-on and similar to The King's many Tree homes.   Now You Know. 

Q.  What about the Catskill Mountains of New York ?  We have heard He lives there ?

A.  The Catskills are a revered bunch of mountains and are considered “enchanted” by most                all animals and "knowing” humans.  The King travels often around the Mountains of                   the Northeast - Catskills, Adirondacks, White, Green, Berkshires.  You can find many                 “Forest Folk” there, such as Fairies, Leprechauns, Elves, Gnomes, Bigfoot, Pixies,                            Wood Sprites, even housebroken Trolls –  all led by Mother Nature. 

     YES - They all exist and live very peacefully with one another and the Forest Animals.                 YES - They do dress and act as in the Disney cartoons, and they surely do have lots of fun               pranks, tricks, on each other and also on nearby humans and towns.  Nothing                              malicious, of course = just fun events.  One of their current “fun” things is making                    “crop circles” – which the local wildlife construct world-wide – just for fun.  Nothing                      fancy – and some humans claim that “extraterrestrial aliens” are here.  Probably not                    true.   And ... the Critters and "Forest People" and wild animals continue singing and                  dancing – in circles.     (Now you know the "real" story).

Q. Do any of these "Forest Folk" work ?

A.  Of course, they All are hard-workers.  Work is often their Fun.  If one doesn't work, One                   gets banished.  And, YES, many of them sing  "Hi-Ho, HI-Ho, it's off to work we go ..."

Q.  Trolls ?   Disney ?

A.   Well, perhaps we shouldn't have mentioned Trolls and other Forest Folk ?  They all live in              general harmony in several forested mountainous areas.  Many years ago Walt Disney,               himself, sent movie scouts into the mountains to find out about these various "folk",                   to see if "they" could be used as the basis of movies.  Turned out that they were (and                 are) Perfect subjects for movie cartoons.  In fact, many of the "Forest Folk" still travel to             Hollywood regularly to work with the film-makers to help keep the movies authentic.                   Disney's scouts are heartily welcomed with feasts -  food, music, dancing.  The usual                 FUN Forest Folk activities.

Q.   Feasts ?  What do the Forest Folk and Critters eat at their "feasts" ?  

A.   Corn.  Lots of Corn products.  Various grains and nuts. Mushrooms.  Drink is often Grog or           Mead or Beer or Moonshine.  Sometimes wine and homebrew.  Forest Folk DO know                   how to have a good time.   OK, let's get back on topic ?   Next question ?

 

Turkeys  KFV       Chapter 4 

 

Q.  One more question, please, about Food ?  Does The King eat Meat ?

A.   Often. Please, remember the guy driving the Sprinter ? When you ask "leading" questions?

Q.   One more question about the Movies ?  How come the "Forest Folk, People, Critters" are                     only  seen in cartoons ?

A.   That's easy.  ALL of the "Forest People" are very private - even secretive - about  their                         lives and families, so they NEVER appear in public.  They only permit their likenesses                 to appear in Disney Cartoons (some other movies, also).  Union rules. Occasionally,                   when one or many of them gets washed "downstream" after a night of "partying",                        friends send one of the aforementioned Sprinter Vans to retrieve them - not the Royal                 Sprinter Vans, though.

Q.   What is the difference among - Forest "People" and  Forest "Folks"  and Forest                                 "Critters" and Forest "Creatures" ?

A.   Forest "People" and "Folks" include the human-like residents. "Critters" and "Creatures"                   include all of the other "animals and birds, occasionally insects, snakes, etc."                                                                                        (See Q #28 above)

Q.   Is King Ferdinand V, King of domestic (domesticated) turkeys, also ?

A.   Yes.  Although domesticated Turkeys don’t know it. They don’t know much about anything                and live sheltered and very short lives.  And domesticated Turkeys trace their                              heritage way back to Wild Turkeys captured by Spanish in Mexico, who sent them                       back to Europe where they were bred for food (of all things) and then reintroduced to                 North America, and raised for food.   Not something that we talk about.

Q.  How can one tell the difference between Wild Turkeys and Domestic Turkeys ?

A.  Domestic Turkeys are generally all white.  Wild Turkeys are mostly brown and vary among                the five (5) sub-species in North America.   The most common are the Eastern Wild                     Turkey which are also the largest, loudest, and have shorter legs.  Wild Turkeys look                    like, well,  REAL Turkeys.               Google "Wild Turkey Sub-Species"

Q4  What do Wild Turkeys taste like ?

A.  TASTE ?   Hey, you gotta be careful with your questions.                                                                                               Or don’t walk in front of ANY  Sprinter Vans – or in the woods. 

Q.  How old is King Ferdinand ?

A.  We don’t know.  They don’t talk about it.  We don’t ask.  Although, He has been around for                a  long, long, time.

Q.  Does He have a sense of humor.

A.  Depends - on the subject, and the season, and the weather, and His mood.

Q.  Does The King speak or understand other languages – other than Turkeyese ?

A.  Yes, He is also fluent in the language of the world’s animals – common to ALL animals, but              NOT to humans nor do humans even realize that there IS a World Animal Language                    (WAL) - a combination of sounds and body movememts.  He also understands English,              some Canadian French and a smattering of Algonquin.   He has many relatives                            and friends who live in Canada.

Q.  How big is a typical Turkey’s vocabulary ?

A.  Most Wild Turkeys can make at least 30 different identifiable sounds in Turkeyese and                     often can be heard 1 mile away.  Not bad.

Q.  Do Turkeys have "accents" or "dialects" ?

A.  Yes ... and then there is a Turkey, Uncle Frank, who stutters.  Instead of saying   "gobble,                gobble, gobble, Frank says ga-ga-ga-ga-ga- gobble.  His record is 68 ga-ga-ga(s) and it                took him almost 2 minutes to say "gobble, gobble, gobble"  FYI  The world record                        Turkey stutterer is 117 ga, ga, ga, ga, and it is held by a Royal Canadian Turkey named                Jacques, from Ste Claire, 30 miles south of Quebec City, who says "gobble, etc." with a              distinct French-Canadian accent, EH ?  They are usually referred to as "LongTalkers"

Q.  You mean Canadian Turkeys "gobble, gobble" with a French-Canadian accent ?

A.  Mais, Oui.  Of course.  Well, just the Wild Turkeys that live in Quebec and parts of New                       Brunswick.  You know where that is, EH ?

 

Turkeys  KFV       Chapter 6     

 

Q.  Has KFV ever been to Connecticut ?

A.  Yes.   Many times.            (See Q  #54 above)

Q.  Does He like Connecticut ?

A.  Yes.  Except for the pesky squirrels and the undisciplined seagulls.

Q.  How about North Carolina ?  Has He been there ?

A1 Yes.  KFV often vacations in the Blue Ridge Mountains and Smoky Mountains and                              anywhere along the Appalachian Trail.  He is particularly fond of the                                              Sugar Mountain area including Grandfather Mountain.  

A2 Are you almost done with your questions ?

Q6 Can we get an autograph from The King ?

A.  No.

Q.  How about an Autographed Photo ?

A.  Maybe.  If the PHOTO is purchased from our “Official Turkey Website” or, you may buy a                   Photo Flyer if you appear in person at one of many local events.

Q.  How about if we make a copy of the Official Court Painting or forward it via Email or other                 electronic means ?

A1.  ALL Photos and Paintings of King Ferdinand V are Trademark Registered and  protected                 by  International copyright.  ANY copy/use requires express written permission.                           Please ask, first.  NOTE - By  copying this painting / photo without express written                       permission - you are agreeing to pay for EACH single reproduction.  It is copyright                     protected and trademarked and there is a charge (cost) to use ANY likeness of The                     King for ANY purpose AND ONLY  with express written permission.  Your use or                          reproduction of this portrait in ANY manner – print, electronic, or other – your use is                   YOUR agreement to pay $100.00 for EACH single reproduction, use, copy, print, and                   ANY other use.  Your payment within 10 days of use will be appreciated – CASH only                  is acceptable in USA currency. "Gold" dollars are preferred.  (See P4  above) will be                    donated to local Turkey charities –  after “costs” are deducted.  Thank You.  

A2.  Better if you ASK first, receive PERMISSION, and PAY prior to your use. Less  costly than               legal fees, or, a LARGE flock of Turkeys arriving in your yard.  This is NOT the same as              a flock of LARGE Turkeys.

Q.  Is there any KFV merchandise available such as - KFV Mini-Banners, Photos, T-Shirts, Hats,              Key Chains, Pens, Tank Tops, Mouse Pads, Turkey Calls, Sneakers ?

A.  Yes.  They should be available soon.  (Sneakers ?)   NOTE - We are ignoring "Turkey Calls"

Q.  Does KFV use the Internet ?  Does He have a website ?

A.  He does have access to the Internet, and, YES, He is working on his own personal website.               THIS is His Website. Pay attention to YOUR OWN Questions.  It is updated almost daily.

Q.  What about the Turkey Telegraph ?

A.  What about it ?                                                               

Q.  What IS the Turkey Telegraph ?  We have heard of it but don’t know anything about it ?

A.  How did YOU hear about the TT ?   It is a very secret, non-electronic, means of                                   communications used by Turkeys to communicate with other Turkeys in North                             America.  Some of the Forest People and animals understand the TT and even use it                   to communicate with some Turkeys, privately, only, but never with any outside folks .                 Humans found out abut it and created something electronic - similar - but not  as fast                 or far ranging - and called it   IM = "Instant Messager" and later "SnapChat".

Q67 How can one contact Him ?                                                                                         

A.  You can contact Him by His Email. You CAN ask questions right HERE, anytime.                              KingFerdinandV@gmail.com   ...    and check out    2 Turkey Websites                               KingFerdinandV.com   and   TheTurkeyChronicles.com     (both a work in progress)

 

   NOTE-1 – You can Google “Wild Turkeys” for more generic information about Turkeys.

         NOTE-2 - "Google" is a human-type word that Originated with Turkeys as "Gobble",

 

                       All, Hail, King Ferdinand V, The Fierce* 1016 18       *NOTE:      KFV is NOT at all fierce - except when challenged by squirrels ...

- another story - for another time ...

 

Event Photo

a                            Turkeys  KFV       Chapter 5                                 6620

                                                                                                                                     

Q.    Does  KFV  know Paul Bunyan ?  ...  and his Blue Ox, Babe ?

A.    YES.  ... and they are similarly proportioned - so you may have seen a  picture of                                                                  a   Royal Turkey  with Paul and Babe - that MAY have been KFV.

Q.    Is King Ferdinand Married ?

A.    Married ?

Q.   Does The King have any (many) children ?    INSERT   Chantix Turkey Link

A.   Children ?

A2  You mean “offspring” ?   Why, Yes,  He  does, and He is very proud of them –  ALL of them –

        .....  and you can see some of them in a current TV Commercial.   Count how many you see ... 
   On TV   ... just      "google"   "Chantix Slow Turkey Carnival"   Several of His children are there.

                                    NOTE     So far, there are 9  Different Chantix Turkey"  commercials - see them ALL.

Q.   Does KFV have any "pets" ?

A.   No.   You are kidding ?

Q.   Is there anything that The King does not like ?

A.   You mean, such as, someone who asks way too many questions ?

Q5  Does KFV ever make any "public" appearances" ?

A,   No.  Never.  Except the "Forest Folk Hoedowns" mentioned earlier.

Q.   How does KFV handle "invitations" ? 

A.   What kind of invitations ?   Like, Birthday Parties ?         (See Q #28 above)

Q.   Big Events - County Fairs ? Parades ?"Forest Folk Hoedowns" Gatherings ?

A1.  NO - NO - YES

A2.  He sends his  Official KFV Banners to many public and private events.

Q.    Banners ?

A.    Yes.  Official KFV Banners. "Life Size" copies of the Official Court Paintings.

Q.    We saw The King's Official Banner at the Levitt Pavilion in Westport,   Connecticut.                                                Was KFV actually there ? ... at the Critter and Folk  Gathering  in late August 2018 ?

A.   Yes.  He gave a rousing, inspiring speech.  His visits are rarely mentioned in advance.                                                His motivational speeches cause way too much excitement by the "local" folk, not to  mention                   Turkeys and Seagulls, in particular.  Although the TT (see below) sometimes gives "hints" in                           advance.  We mean, "swooning Turkeys and Seagulls .....

Q.    We have seen The King's Official Banner in other locations.  Does that mean that KFV has been                        there or is coming to that area ?

A.    Impressive. You are VERY Special.   Not Everyone can see The King’s Official  Banner ?  If you can                   see the Banner, it means that YOU have a very special connection with Forest Folks                                          and Critters.   The King - KFV, would like to hear from you - soon.     OK to Send Him an Email.

A2   So, Yes, seeing The King's Official Banner often is a harbringer (or harbinger) of The King's local                  appearance.   OR,  Event is over and someone forgot to take the Banner.

Q.    What does KFV do for Thanksgiving ?

A.    Same as all other  True Americans (and Canadians).   All Turkeys offer "thanks" just for "being                            there".     He Eats way too much - then,    He takes a nap.  If they all eat and drink way, way, way,                    too much, they will spend the night "on the ground".    Too heavy to "fly" up into the trees.                                                 (See #32 above)

 

   NOTE - Please, NO questions such as "What do They eat on Thanksgiving ?"

 

The Kingdom is thrilled to announce that   King Ferdinand V   has been elevated to  Supreme Chairman  of the Esteemed organization

- the National Federation of Turkeys = NFT

...and will soon be seen on the Official NFT Coins 

N F T  = 

National Federation of Turkeys 

An Explanation = The NFT is dedicated to the promotion of everything "Turkey", except the actual Country of Turkey, which is in the process of changing its NAME so as not to be confused with the benevolence of our Turkey Bird Members.